Frag-All right you fuckers! We have a PSA for you today. And we want everyone to pay attention to it!
Fig-With everyone moving to our fair state now that we have legal weed, we need to cover some ground rules. And today we are going to start with driving.
Frag- We are fortunate enough to live in a state that has mountains and plains and other cool geographical features. Now what this means is that we also get weather. And weather means that you can't drive like total douchbag like you can in the summer.
Fig- Rain for instance. Rain sucks to drive in and the puddles are a big hassle, but you can still see the lines on the roads. It's not like that opaque white shit that falls from the sky. And I mean snow, not that other white shit. So don't get any ideas!
Frag- So we also want to give everyone a refresher course on...Street signs! You know, those colorful things that you are supposed to pay attention to!
Fig- So here is our first sign. Now you may have noticed this one commonly placed in the junction of 2 streets. This means that you are supposed to cease any and all forward motion until you are clear to proceed. Not slow down....Stop your freakin' car!!!
Frag- This next one is also very important. This one means you need to stop if there is traffic, but if there is no traffic, then you don't have to stop. These are common when getting onto or off of highways. These will help the confused and aid them in properly merging with oncoming traffic. It's also so you don't run into anybody!
Fig- we would also like to bring a new rule to your attention, well not so much new as understated. The Lug Nut Rule...The Lug Nut Rule states simply, whoever has the most lug nuts on their vehicle will win in a crash. It's really simple...If it's bigger than you, it's gonna fucking win.
Frag- Our last one for this PSA is this kinda plain black and white bastard up above. This tells you how fast you can go. pay attention and don't be a dick.If you need to be somewhere at a certain time, please leave early. Don't expect heavy traffic to part like the red sea just because you are in a hurry.
Fig-We hope this helps with all the new people who are on our roads this year. We would really like to be able to drive without having to cuss like a fucking sailor ( we do anyway but...)in our cars. We all just want to get from one point to the other, so let me say it louder for the folks in the back...DON'T BE A DICK AND READ THE FREAKING SIGNS!
