Happy New Year!

Frag-Since our owner is a slack-ass and slept right through the midnight festivities, we have decided to give you a list of Holiday sins that we saw this last year.

Fig-Can I just take care of one thing first?

Frag-Yeah, sure.

Fig- Thanks *carries sledge hammer*

Frag- Um, what the hell?

Fig-*smashes hammer down on one of those Elf on a Shelf thingies*  Okay, there we go, much better!

Frag- Okay. I will give you that one, those things are creepy as fuck! So let's start there. This trend of trying to scare the crap out of your kids by posing this creepy doll around their room to extort them to be good, needs to go away. If you have to rely on a stuffed toy to 'encourage' your kids to behave for at least one month of the year, then all we have to say is...

Fig-Parenting! Your doin' it wrong!

Frag-Let's move on to the 'trendy toy' sin.

Fig-You all know what I am talking about with this one too.

Frag-This will turn even the most gentle soul into Satan, yes with a capitol 'S', while shopping. These people are so worried or guilty about how they are taking care of their kids, that they will start pistol-whipping other shoppers just so they can placate their own feelings by teaching little Buffy that all that matters this year is plastic.

Fig-Let us not forget the unholy day that is 'Black Friday'. Let us hang our heads and have a moment of silence for those poor souls forced to serve the savage packs of consumers that want nothing more than cheap crap from China.

Frag-Let us look at, then promptly destroy the Christmas Letter tradition. I think that most people see these as a way of keeping family informed of major milestones over the last year. And I know that our readers will understand when I say 'milestone' I mean shit like giving birth, or buying a first home. Not bragging about your damn cat or how many book clubs you joined.

Fig-Maybe some people just need to learn how to write these types of letters...

Frag-Now that the year is over, and these have already happened, we can work toward next year. Our resolution for this year, will be to add meaning to the things that we do. All we have is our time here, and we should live everyday like it's a major holiday. We should be thankful all year, and not just for 30 days. And we should take a close look at ourselves and see if we like what we have become. beyond that, have fun, and may the best of your past, be the worst of your future!