Tech Support

Fig-*snarls* Damnit! If you interrupt me one more time, I am gonna reach through this phone and slap the ever loving shit out of you! *deep breath* No Sir, I am sorry that you managed to delete your internet and all of your cat pictures...

Frag-*Australian Accent* Here we have a rare treat! Today we get to examine the technical support specialist in the wild! Now I want you all to keep your distance as they can be rather wiley, and lunge at highly caffeinated beverages and sugary treats. Please don't feed them!

Fig-Thank you sir have a nice day!

Frag-Now what we have just witnessed is the end of a call, and it seems that the tech is going to retreat for a few moments and take a quick respite.

Fig-Tech Support, How can I help you today?

Frag-Now we get to see the tech at the beginning of the cycle. These cycles tend to last anywhere from 3-30 minutes at a time. Now we don't know at the onset, how long each of these cycles will last, as each one varies widely.

Fig-*shakes head* No Mam', I am not able to tell you the password for your computer, you were the one who had to pick one, and we don't store that information. Besides we have no way of tracking that information as you are not even one of our customers.

Frag- Now what we are seeing is the main reason for stress on the technician. The other leading cause of tech stress is people who just won't listen.

Fig-No sir, you are the one who needs to turn your printer off and back on. I am not at your house, so I cannot do that for you.

Frag-Now the one saving grace for the techie, is their mute button. This allows them to retreat from the onslaught of stupid just long enough for them to not break down into a drooling pile of slimy muck!

Fig-Mame, I am going to need you to take you cat out of your computer tower and take it to the nearest computer repair shop there is nothing I am going to be able to help you with....No, please do not use soap and water to clean out the computer....No, don't put it in the microwave either...