We interrupt our normally scheduled program...

Okay, so I am interrupting the regular fuckery for a rant. Again. So deal with it.

This may seem a bit disjointed but I had a dream about a post-zombie apocalyptic world last night. It was vivid and I can remember damn near everything. Like the fact that the huge-ass house we were living in with like 20 other people was painted this obnoxious shade of sun-flower yellow. There were about 100 chickens in a yard that kinda surrounded the porch. We ended up leaving this paradise for the mountains. When our caravan finally found our mountain retreat, someone else was there first. So we shot one of their cows. All I could think at the time was..."Huh, looks like we are having beef for dinner."

So in all of that what I figure is that when the shit hits the fan, people scatter and only look out for themselves. They don't tend to see that there is greater power in numbers, or the fact that someone may be able to give them a hand up, or screw all that, just willing to share what they have. We tend to be paranoid and due to a large dose of social conditioning, very mistrusting creatures. Everywhere we look we are told that there are the "haves" and the "have nots". Okay, I can see this to a point, I have stuff, all of you other fuckers have stuff too. We don't all have the same stuff, because then we would be some oddball mix of communism and socialism. But the fact that we have different stuff in no way makes me a "have not". Just a "have different". And just because I don't have more little green bits of paper, doesn't mean that I am not happy. I can pay for my food, my house and my fun stuff. I don't think that having $900 shoes makes a person happy. They just have to watch where they step. Well I say screw that. I want to be able to play in puddles, and run through the grass in the park.

But lately the one that gets me the most is the stock market. I mean really, you're playing with imaginary money. There are not enough bills in the US to cover even a portion of the market. Yet every breath we take as a country is tied to this scrolling board with green numbers. It's like one big game of 'see how we can mess up the country in 10 easy steps'. Shit. If my job was based on the market, I think I would be out of work. If I chose to spend the way the government does, I would be so far in debt that I would have to file bankruptcy like 10 times. I miss those days when people were taught to spend what they had and credit was for emergencies.

I miss personal integrity. I know people are gonna roll their eyes and think that I can't possibly mean them, but everyone has lapses now and again. I have met some truly great people who I think have what it takes to do what they say, and say what they do. They don't bullshit. I like to think that I am one of those people. I do realize that sometimes I slip, but then there are those people who think that they are above having to do what they say. They are the ones who tend to blow off invites, and are the ones that think that people have to look up to them. Yet they have not given one reason to be admired. They are the ones who feel they can't possibly relate to anyone other than their friends. Fine be my, go be a little scared kid in a corner. I am done with it.

Now I may piss someone off with this, but watch your DAMNED KIDS!!! You are the one who chose to have kids, and in some cases more than you can support. But back on point. Your kids may be cute, but when I am shopping all I want to do is run them over with my cart. When they poke holes in the packs of meat, and when they crush all of the loaves of bread, I want to scream. I know if I ever acted the way some of you let your kids act, I would have had my ass beat in the middle of the store. Then if anyone should, god forbid, tell your precious little ingrates to stop doing something dangerous, then you get all hurt and dejected. You scream that we have no right to tell your kids what to do. But let me say this again...You are the parent. Not me. So put on your big girl/boy panties and freaking deal with it.

I also miss, and I totally blame my generation for this...Personal responsability. Gen X has become the lack lustre shadow of our parents. Sure we saw things like the rise of feminism, the invention of the internet and cell phones, but we had to be the idiots to take it one further. We have lost all sense of personal responsability. Now you can blame being a dick on a mental disorder. You can blame not working on the fact that you have personalitly conflicts with your employers. And our government will happily pay you to sit on your ass. But the one that gets me, is people who tend to blame being assholes on their astrological sign. I call BULLSHIT!! We have a problem. We tend to not pay attention to anything unless it directly affects us. We don't care about Darfur, we surely don't give a shit about immigration. And we will happily sit back as our country deteriorates around us.

As I said in the beginning, this is a rant. You can agree or disagree all you want, but in the end I hope that it made you think. I hope it made you look, even for just a moment, at something a bit differently.

Team Work....

Frag-*humming*

Fig-I recognize that tune...

Frag-You should, you only spent the 80's watching it on TV. And no I don't mean the Price is Right.

Fig-I love it when a plan comes together!

Frag-In case you guys playing the home game missed it, we are talking A-team today. But since I am to fuckered up to order the TV series, we are gonna be looking at the movie tonight.

Fig-So I like the van, I always wanted a van like Baracus. The only draw back seems to be when Murdoch drops an industrial air conditioner on it and it folds like a cheap suit.

Frag-Just give it up will ya? We all know that you wanna try cooking steaks with gun powder, and stealing car doors from private contractors in a desert country all the while figuring out the best way to thwart the higher-ups and make it look like someone else did everything.

Fig-Nah, I wanna be just like Face...or Murdoch I love the way he is able to terrify all the members of the crew.

Frag-I call bullshit, You just wanna act all crazy and steal stuff. Not that I disagree with your plans, but we don't know anyone who can fit a rifle into a video camera.

Fig-Ya know as far as action movies go, it rarely gets as good as this, explosions, only slightly unbelievable stunts, and perfect timing. Then best that Hollywood has to offer!

Frag-So we spend the first 30 minutes of the movie with a perfectly laid plan, only to have the ever-lovin' shit blown out of it in like 2 seconds. We learn that the private contractors who's SUV the team rips up is behind the fuckery.

Fig-*Crying* I, I can't believe that they broke up the team *sniff*. But I do love the part when they break out of prison.

Frag-Yeah, the military managed to loose 3 high priority prisoners in the matter of just a few hours. They did however manage to make one of the biggest badasses give up the game...poor Baracus.

Fig-So um where do you think I could get to drive a tank that was dropped from an airplane, and I don't mean when it lands? *smirk* That should be a ride at an amusement park.

Frag-I am amused by the fact that now they are terrorizing Germany. With the CIA's help. But several explosions later, we come to the crux of the point. And that happens to be that super complex shell games work far better in setting up the bad guy, and bringing about his downfall.

Fig-But isn't that part of what makes the movies great? The fact that the imagination and some computers can re-make physics and rational thought.

Frag-So given the amount of shit they blow up in this movie and the complete and total disregard for the laws of physics and real-world tactics, I have to say that we LOVE this movie!!

Show me the way to go home....

Fig-*singsong* I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head..."

Frag-Tonight we will be looking at one of the most iconic horror movies of our time. From the haunting cello introduction, to complete refusal by government officials to do their jobs. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen I am talking about JAWS.

Fig-"I'm not gonna take this abuse much longerrr..." I love it when the shark pops out of the water!

Frag-Did you know that one of the only reasons that the movie JAWS is as spectacularly and pants-shittingly scary is due to a malfunction? Yeppers the damn shark wouldn't work. So when they filmed the movie, they had to make due with divers and tons of scuba gear.

Fig-If we're to believe anything in the movies, within the first 10 minutes, we learn that Vampires have a taste for little boys via swing sets...And coffee cups are in short supply. It is after all and island.

Frag-I think the tone for the whole mess is set in the first few minutes...the new sheriff gets a steaming hot pile of shark shit dumped in his lap. It's as if no one in the history of swimming in the ocean has ever had an issue with sharks.  The town fathers tend to treat the event as something that could never happen there. HELLO!!! You're swimming in a freakin' ocean!

Fig-Hey where do you think a town like that would keep the beach closed signs???

Frag-Surprise!!! We don't have any!!! How ya like them apples!

Fig-I love the fact that the polyester clad fuckery continues well into the middle of the movie. I love the anchors on the mayors suit!!

Frag-Now we have to take into account that the shark managed to take out a black lab and no one notices. Apparently parking trumps snack foods...

Fig-Now what completely blows my mind is the fact that they managed to make 4 Jaws films. And the fact that the new sheriff doesn't like to get his feet wet.

Frag-So after this demonic spawn of Satan terrorizes this poor town, finally a voice of reason appears.
*Enter Quint*

Fig-Man, he makes my nose hair curl! How could you possibly squeeze that much badassery into one single mortal shell? I have no freaking idea!

Frag-So the town fathers decide that the asking price is too much to hire Mr. Badass. Okay fine, personally, I would pay what ever the hell he is asking. I mean how many kids equals $10,000??

Fig- I love the fact that 2 idijits, are using a roast tied to a tire. But I have to admit that when the dock is being towed towards idiot #1, that it makes me question swimming in open waters ever again.

Frag-*Enter Matt Hooper*-Portrayed by Richard Dreyfus, this man seems to be the second least confused in this whole mess. He correctly identifies that the first victim was indeed killed by a shark, and that the one fish they managed to catch was the wrong fucking one.

Fig-*singing* Farewell and ado to you fair Spanish ladies, farewell and ado you ladies of Spain!

Frag-Throw in some male bonding, some dick measuring and that brings us to the final moments of the film. Hooper is on the bottom of the ocean after getting into what looks like a shark cage, but folds like a cheap suit. Quint is spending the rest of his days as poo and Brody is taking aim at a scuba tank firmly wedged in between the bastards molars.

Fig-Seems to me that you forgot that Mythbusters already disproved the exploding scuba tank theory. Damn Science!

Frag-So from this great flick we learn that people can do great things in adverse situations, but money always trumps common sense, and No one ever looked good in pinstriped polyester suits!

Taking a break...

Okay, I love the twins, but lately I feel like I have lost my connection to them. So in the meanwhile, I am just gonna dump my thoughts here and hope that you can make sense out of them without being drunk or doped up on painkillers...So I think I will get things started with the power that other people give us on a regular basis.

This should be fun...

Everyone likes to think that they are above the petty bullshit that accompanies daily life like so much hair that clogs the bathtub drain. Drama and backbiting are everywhere. From work to home to friends, people seem to live for this pile of crap. I think it's because people need to feel better about their own lives. I will have to admit at this point, that I get a twisted sense of staisfaction from seeing peoples bullshit come back to bite them in their denim asses. I do feel bad when bad shit happens to good people just trying to make it by. Some people do get the short end of the shovel. I have been through it, I have seen the crappy as well as the fantastic, and throughout all of it, I still find people who manage to, despite everything, make your life or your actions about them. They think that you are out to get them.

At this point I have to wonder what the fuck these people are smoking. I mean, it may be great shit, or it may be ditch weed. But all I can figure out is that it makes people paranoid. And I have too much fuckery on my plate to have to worry about paranoid ramblings, unless they are my own... But back on topic. When people spend time and energy focusing on another person, more often than not in a negative way, then that person has just gained power.

I spent a fair amount of time thinking about these types of relationships. For several years, I carried a large bowl of hate for a few people. It took me a very long time to get over it. Once I did, I was way happier that I thought I would be. Now I just sit back and watch the fireworks. Sometimes it is kinda boring, other times, it's one hell of a show.