It's a bit early, but here ya go!

I know we are still a while away from Valentines day, but the cards and the candy have replaced the breakable stuff and the spray snow. Here is a classic Fig and Frag for your enjoyment.

Fig-"Happy Valentines Day!" *carries in armload of pink and red boxes*

Frag-"Um, What the hell is all of that for? I mean, It's not like your dating anyone right now."

Fig-"I know, I know. But I figure if I see someone I wanna date (read 'sleep with') then all I have to do is give them this massive pile of fattening chocolate, and cheesey cards, and I won't be lonely any more. I mean it's supposed to be the most romantic day of the year."

Frag-"Okay...Put the heart shaped boxes down and step away from the negligee. What in the world would make you think that this could possibly work?"

Fig-"I saw it on TV. If I give someone a valentines day gift, they are supposed to return the favor. Right?"

Frag-"I think that you have completly missed the point of this Hallmark Holiday. Valentines day is nothing more than another day. It is a way for companies to fill the space between the Christmas season, and Easter (read sell more stuff). And I think that people place too much emphasis on this contrived pile of drivel."

Fig-"But, but..."

Frag-"Let me help you out here. If you carry that pile of stuff around hoping to charm your way into someones pants, then all your going to get are dirty looks. Valentines day is not a free pass for sex! Unfortunatly, the card companies have made this day about legalized prostitution. 'Here I bought you these chocolates, will you have sex with me?' It is one day of the year, when people trade goods in the hope for sex, without having to deal with dirty looks"

Fig-*jaw sits on the floor* "I have never looked at it that way. Now that I see it from a different angle, it does seem kinda foolish." *opens box of chocolate*

Frag-"The idea behind Valentines day is not a bad one, people expressing their love for one another is a wonderful thing. But that is something that should happen everyday, not just once a year. I would like to think that people are smart enough that they don't have to be reminded that they are in love with their signifigant other. Hey pass me some of those." *Starts digging into chocolate box*