3 Jobs that everyone should have

Frag-We here in our twisted little universe like to think that we have a pretty good handle on things. We take care of ourselves, we get let out for walks and we even get fed real food now and again. All of those great things aside, we need to talk about jobs.

Fig-Jobs? Why the hell would we want to talk about that?

Frag-You see, we spend most of our adult lives at work. And when we are not at work, we are thinking about work. But today I want to talk to you about the jobs that everyone should work at least once.

Fig-They have those? I thought you were in the same job until you died!

Frag-It used to be the way that things were done, but not anymore. Most jobs have a fairly high turn over rate. Hell we went through 3 jobs in the last year alone. And those 3 jobs have taught me a lot of things.

Fig-So I guess this is where you tell us exactly what is on your mind right?

Frag-Yes, this is that part. For the first time ever, we had the privilege to work in a call center. And I don't mean for a small company as reception. Oh no, we had to start this out big time. We had to go directly to one of the major shipping companies in the US. I'll give you a hint, they have an eagle for the logo.

Fig-Oh yes, that one. That one was about as fun as being stripped nekkid and left in a blizzard in the middle of Fargo, with a slushy.

Frag-I am not sure it was even that fun. It was non-stop for a good part of our shifts, and the people were so rude that you could strip paint with the vileness that they spewed on a regular basis. They would take out all of their feelings on the poor bastard who ended up being lucky enough to answer the phone. So for our first job, we have customer service!

Fig-Oh, so then what is next? Was it that time that we got blamed for doing someone else's job?

Frag-No, that's a whole other tale for another drunken rant. No next is Retail. The dreaded R word. You haven't really had a crappy job until you have had to clean up a store at Christmas time. You don't know hell until you have had to witness people trample each other and get bent out of shape that the socks they purchased are not exactly the right color of black.

Fig-Wouldn't this be better as a scary story around Halloween?

Frag-Maybe, but I digress, the next job that everyone should have is Food Service. If you have ever worked food service a day in you life, then you know that the only thing worse than serving people food is the knowledge that somewhere people are fishing the leftovers out of a dumpster. People in food service have one of the toughest jobs imaginable. They have to deal with over pick snots who think that they are better than everyone, and then there are those who will try anything for a free meal.

Fig-I love our servers. Everyone should be nice to them, remember, they are the ones who can choose to spit in your food!