I am an artist. I love to create things. I love to see people fall in love and enjoy the things I make and it makes me happy and content to no end every time I sell a piece. But I am tired of people not stepping up. I am sick of hearing "Your stuff is beautiful, I would love to have a piece" or the ubiquitous "You are so talented, how do you do it?"
Now onto the rant part of things, If you really, really like my stuff...buy it! I pour every ounce of myself into every thing I do. And I know that times are hard and there is not a lot of extra cash floating around, so that is why I keep my prices low. I don't try to price match items on Etsy, and I don't sell things for a dollar, like on ebay. I cover my costs so that I can make just a little extra money to do things like oh, get my trucks fixed, or right now, pay for insane plumbing repairs. I also donate half of the money I manage to make from the shell casing jewelry.
Yep. I donate 50%.
So for anyone who has ever made and sold crafts, you know that part of pricing your items is also supposed to cover your time.
Yeah, that rarely happens.
And I cannot begin to tell you how many people say they want to get tattoo work done. And yet, not one has called to schedule an appointment. I realize that the fact that I have to have a day job to pay the regular bills does, in fact, affect the times that I can stay up way late or burn myself out working on a piece. I know the fact that I am not available when ever anyone has and extra $20 in their pockets, does effectively take me out of the running for those 'spur of the moment' tattoos.
I am almost done, but before I finish my little rant here, just remember that even the smallest purchase from an artist can mean the difference between driving on bald tires in the snow, and being able to keep their family safe.
With that being said, here is a shameless plug.
https://www.wepay.com/stores/price-of-freedom
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Fig-Today I would like to talk about lies. It has recently come to my knowledge that we Americans, as a people are being constantly lied to.
Frag-Oh what in the hell are you talking about now?
Fig-Only the biggest farce to be perpetrated on the American people since Roswell!
Frag-Okay, ya know what? At this point I am not sure I even want to know.
Fig- That's okay, I have to tell someone and if it isn't you, then it might as well be the true victims of this giant lie! Everyone needs to know! I will shout it from the mountain tops if I have to!
Frag-Crap. Once Fig gets going like this, there is no way to escape unharmed...
Fig-Now, can I finally tell them? Or are you gonna keep interrupting?
Frag-Go on then.
Fig-*que patriotic music* Okay, well we have all seen the commercials on TV, we have heard the slogans, and we have been told that in order to go anywhere we want, all we have to do is spend tens of thousands of dollars. We have been told that it's tough, we have been told that it is a heartbeat, we have been told that snow, ice nor rain will hamper forward progress.
Frag-*Sigh* I know where this is going...
Fig-We are shown endless mountain ranges, snow drifts, mud puddles, and city streets. We have been convinced that we all need to have these invincible, rugged, yet luxurious conveyances. They want us to believe that no matter what job we need to do, no matter how much dirt we need to haul, no matter how many steel beams we need for little Joey's bunk bed, that this will get the job done! American Style!
Frag-Cut to the chase will you!
Fig-Okay fine! Now will you quit interrupting me?
Frag-Yea, I will,
Fig-Ahem, So As I was saying, we have all of these images of rugged, tough, unstoppable-ness in our minds, We willingly pay upwards of $30,000 for most of these things, yet there seems to be a problem.
Frag-And if ya haven't figured it out yet, we are talking about Pick-Up Trucks...
Fig-Yes. Yes we are. And the lie is that these can do anything cool at all. All I ever see are ads where they drop what I can only assume to be thousands of pounds of whatever in the bed of the truck and then drive it to the top of the highest peak within 3 states. Or they drive it through a bog that would eat elephants if given a chance, but the truck comes out on the other side all clean and ready to take your wife to an elegant dinner at the country club.
Frag-So uh, where exactly is the lie?
Fig-Railroad Tracks.
Frag-Perhaps you would care to expound?
Fig-Okay, so all of the commercials on TV show trucks going over obstacles that rival the grand canyon at one point or another. And all of the aforementioned traits tend to make great buying points when you are deciding to drop half the economy of a small country on a vehicle. Yet I think that they wait to tell you until after you have signed all of the paperwork, and can't undo the deal, that what you have just signed juniors college fund away for can't handle Railroad Tracks.
Frag-??
Fig-I know you have spent time driving around in the city, and as we live close to railroad tracks, you have to have noticed that more people stop for tracks than red lights. So this leads me to conclude that we have been lied to for years. We have been tricked to spending tons of money on what we think can do anything, except go over train tracks at a reasonable speed.
Frag-Where do you come up with this stuff?
Fig-All of the rugged, testosterone boosting, image enhancing, hauling, conquering trucks are made of the most delicate substance on Earth. And that is why they have to stop for train tracks. So in a Zombie Apocalypse, whatever you decide to drive, dear god, don't drive a truck! Take a Mini instead, those can fit down stairwells!
Frag-*facepalm*
Frag-Oh what in the hell are you talking about now?
Fig-Only the biggest farce to be perpetrated on the American people since Roswell!
Frag-Okay, ya know what? At this point I am not sure I even want to know.
Fig- That's okay, I have to tell someone and if it isn't you, then it might as well be the true victims of this giant lie! Everyone needs to know! I will shout it from the mountain tops if I have to!
Frag-Crap. Once Fig gets going like this, there is no way to escape unharmed...
Fig-Now, can I finally tell them? Or are you gonna keep interrupting?
Frag-Go on then.
Fig-*que patriotic music* Okay, well we have all seen the commercials on TV, we have heard the slogans, and we have been told that in order to go anywhere we want, all we have to do is spend tens of thousands of dollars. We have been told that it's tough, we have been told that it is a heartbeat, we have been told that snow, ice nor rain will hamper forward progress.
Frag-*Sigh* I know where this is going...
Fig-We are shown endless mountain ranges, snow drifts, mud puddles, and city streets. We have been convinced that we all need to have these invincible, rugged, yet luxurious conveyances. They want us to believe that no matter what job we need to do, no matter how much dirt we need to haul, no matter how many steel beams we need for little Joey's bunk bed, that this will get the job done! American Style!
Frag-Cut to the chase will you!
Fig-Okay fine! Now will you quit interrupting me?
Frag-Yea, I will,
Fig-Ahem, So As I was saying, we have all of these images of rugged, tough, unstoppable-ness in our minds, We willingly pay upwards of $30,000 for most of these things, yet there seems to be a problem.
Frag-And if ya haven't figured it out yet, we are talking about Pick-Up Trucks...
Fig-Yes. Yes we are. And the lie is that these can do anything cool at all. All I ever see are ads where they drop what I can only assume to be thousands of pounds of whatever in the bed of the truck and then drive it to the top of the highest peak within 3 states. Or they drive it through a bog that would eat elephants if given a chance, but the truck comes out on the other side all clean and ready to take your wife to an elegant dinner at the country club.
Frag-So uh, where exactly is the lie?
Fig-Railroad Tracks.
Frag-Perhaps you would care to expound?
Fig-Okay, so all of the commercials on TV show trucks going over obstacles that rival the grand canyon at one point or another. And all of the aforementioned traits tend to make great buying points when you are deciding to drop half the economy of a small country on a vehicle. Yet I think that they wait to tell you until after you have signed all of the paperwork, and can't undo the deal, that what you have just signed juniors college fund away for can't handle Railroad Tracks.
Frag-??
Fig-I know you have spent time driving around in the city, and as we live close to railroad tracks, you have to have noticed that more people stop for tracks than red lights. So this leads me to conclude that we have been lied to for years. We have been tricked to spending tons of money on what we think can do anything, except go over train tracks at a reasonable speed.
Frag-Where do you come up with this stuff?
Fig-All of the rugged, testosterone boosting, image enhancing, hauling, conquering trucks are made of the most delicate substance on Earth. And that is why they have to stop for train tracks. So in a Zombie Apocalypse, whatever you decide to drive, dear god, don't drive a truck! Take a Mini instead, those can fit down stairwells!
Frag-*facepalm*
Monday, June 4, 2012
Professional you say??
So I have been arguing with myself again. I know why I do it, but it annoys me when I can't come to a conclusion. So it just keeps going. Lately I have been wondering exactly what makes a person a 'professional'. Now I don't mean in a business setting but more in a service type setting. You have professional plumbers, hairdressers, artists, drivers, and the list goes on. But what exactly defines someone as a 'professional'? Is it the act of being paid for your service? Is it the rate at which you are hired for jobs? Could it be that you simply proclaim yourself a professional? Or does one need tons of paperwork behind their name?
You see, I have a professional henna and body art business. And I have made the move into tattooing as well. Now I have discovered tons of animosity between artists. There is a huge rift in the tattoo community. Now I am all for people being taught properly, and making sure that they hold themselves to the highest standard possible, but I also realize that there are tons of lazy people who won't or can't be bothered to do things the right way. From what I have gleaned, if you didn't do your learnin' in a shop, then you are considered shit. You are called a scratcher and scorned by artists who probably started out in a similar spot.
I do think that there are benefits from learning from experienced artists. I have an experienced artist who is teaching me, but alas, he does not have a shop currently. So I have had to learn how to make a sterile shop environment.
But does the fact that my teacher is not currently in a shop enough to keep my from attaining the label of professional in the art of tattooing? Or should it be based on the quality of ones work? Do you want a person who is good at what they do, and loves what they do, or do you want someone who is only in for a paycheck?
I am a professional henna artist. People pay me to provide a service. I am also a professional face painter and airbrush artist. People pay me for those services as well.
So does the fact that ones' skills are in demand make one a professional? Or do you just need business cards?
Now I know that people are going to say that no matter how good you are, if you didn't spend 6 months sweeping floors and making coffee runs, then you don't know shit about the industry. If you didn't crawl your way up from scrubbing down counter tops, and schlepping crap, then there is no way that you can be as good as someone that did...
So I figure that since I have people who pay me for my services, I am licensed and what not, that I count as a 'professional' body artist.
I think I am gonna run with that.
You see, I have a professional henna and body art business. And I have made the move into tattooing as well. Now I have discovered tons of animosity between artists. There is a huge rift in the tattoo community. Now I am all for people being taught properly, and making sure that they hold themselves to the highest standard possible, but I also realize that there are tons of lazy people who won't or can't be bothered to do things the right way. From what I have gleaned, if you didn't do your learnin' in a shop, then you are considered shit. You are called a scratcher and scorned by artists who probably started out in a similar spot.
I do think that there are benefits from learning from experienced artists. I have an experienced artist who is teaching me, but alas, he does not have a shop currently. So I have had to learn how to make a sterile shop environment.
But does the fact that my teacher is not currently in a shop enough to keep my from attaining the label of professional in the art of tattooing? Or should it be based on the quality of ones work? Do you want a person who is good at what they do, and loves what they do, or do you want someone who is only in for a paycheck?
I am a professional henna artist. People pay me to provide a service. I am also a professional face painter and airbrush artist. People pay me for those services as well.
So does the fact that ones' skills are in demand make one a professional? Or do you just need business cards?
Now I know that people are going to say that no matter how good you are, if you didn't spend 6 months sweeping floors and making coffee runs, then you don't know shit about the industry. If you didn't crawl your way up from scrubbing down counter tops, and schlepping crap, then there is no way that you can be as good as someone that did...
So I figure that since I have people who pay me for my services, I am licensed and what not, that I count as a 'professional' body artist.
I think I am gonna run with that.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Fig and Frag Present...
Easter Fun!!!!
Frag- It's that time of year again when people shower kids with chocolate, eggs, and bunnies. I heard that the amount of money spent on Easter is equivalent to $145 per person in the US. Now to be fair, I don't know if they are talking about citizens of the US and bypassing all of the illegals, or if that figure includes them as well. That's a hell of a lot of chocolate bunnies.
Fig-I know for a fact that I didn't spend anywhere near that figure on Easter crap. How do I know? Because the only thing I bought was a pack of peeps. A whole whopping $1.99 plus tax. Why did I buy these cheap yellow marshmallow chicks? One word...Jousting.
Frag-If you have never jousted with peeps, then you are truly missing one of the finer parts of Easter. Peep Jousting allows one to re-create an integral part of religious history. Violence. Through the use of modern technology and a few sharpened points of wood, one can host their very own tournament. And the great thing is that peeps come in so many different colors and shapes, you can set up whole teams! Make up brackets, paint little numbers on your Peeps, hold a grudge match with the chocolate bunny from last year! It's like a final four just for those of us who don't like basketball!
Fig-I do have to say that I prefer the Peeps chicks. They hold the tooth pick perfectly and have excellent aim. The surface that you set them on will also effect their performance. I prefer those thin paper plates that won't hold any type of food that weighs more then a snack bag of chips. They are cheap, and 200 plates is likely more than you will need for your whole event. And you can just toss them. As for the arena (read--microwave), this is where knowing your stuff will really come in handy. I really like the ones with the carousel in the bottom as you get a 360 degree view of the action. But you have to make sure that it's not one of those tiny ones that has really thick screen that makes it hard to see. The lower the voltage of your microwave the longer the match, but you don't have to worry about things catching fire.
Frag-Most matches tend to take about 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. By then the Peep should have almost touched the top of the microwave, if you have a smaller unit, then you may have some clean-up to do. I would recommend cleaning in-between matches as solidified marshmallow is the devil to get off of anything after it is cooked a few times.
Fig-Now if Jousting is not to your tastes, then you can always have the bunny races. If you have a nice sunny day all you need is a bunch of chocolate bunnies (use the same size/kind to keep things fair) and a bunch of magnifying glasses. If you haven't quite figured out how this works...You line everyone up for the race, each person gets a bunny and a magnifying glass (you can prolong the race by freezing the bunnies before hand), then it is a race to see who can melt their bunny the fastest with the magnifier, and, *dramatic music* The Power of the Sun!
Frag-Ha! I see what you did there! Now this one can be kinda messy, so make sure that you either use small bunnies, or you have bowls for the melted chocolate. The first one to completely melt their bunny gets a prize!
Fig-I was thinking that maybe we should hand out colored eggs as the prizes.
Frag-That's kinda boring don't ya think? I mean I was thinking along the lines of those little plastic Zombie figures. Maybe some jelly brains!
Fig-Don't you mean jelly beans?
Frag-Nope, brains. It kinda fits with the whole rising from the dead thing that they have going on there.
Fig-I see.
Frag-Well, whatever your plans are to kick off the season of fertility, have fun, stay safe and remember that there is only so much egg salad that one can consume at a time!
Frag- It's that time of year again when people shower kids with chocolate, eggs, and bunnies. I heard that the amount of money spent on Easter is equivalent to $145 per person in the US. Now to be fair, I don't know if they are talking about citizens of the US and bypassing all of the illegals, or if that figure includes them as well. That's a hell of a lot of chocolate bunnies.
Fig-I know for a fact that I didn't spend anywhere near that figure on Easter crap. How do I know? Because the only thing I bought was a pack of peeps. A whole whopping $1.99 plus tax. Why did I buy these cheap yellow marshmallow chicks? One word...Jousting.
Frag-If you have never jousted with peeps, then you are truly missing one of the finer parts of Easter. Peep Jousting allows one to re-create an integral part of religious history. Violence. Through the use of modern technology and a few sharpened points of wood, one can host their very own tournament. And the great thing is that peeps come in so many different colors and shapes, you can set up whole teams! Make up brackets, paint little numbers on your Peeps, hold a grudge match with the chocolate bunny from last year! It's like a final four just for those of us who don't like basketball!
Fig-I do have to say that I prefer the Peeps chicks. They hold the tooth pick perfectly and have excellent aim. The surface that you set them on will also effect their performance. I prefer those thin paper plates that won't hold any type of food that weighs more then a snack bag of chips. They are cheap, and 200 plates is likely more than you will need for your whole event. And you can just toss them. As for the arena (read--microwave), this is where knowing your stuff will really come in handy. I really like the ones with the carousel in the bottom as you get a 360 degree view of the action. But you have to make sure that it's not one of those tiny ones that has really thick screen that makes it hard to see. The lower the voltage of your microwave the longer the match, but you don't have to worry about things catching fire.
Frag-Most matches tend to take about 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. By then the Peep should have almost touched the top of the microwave, if you have a smaller unit, then you may have some clean-up to do. I would recommend cleaning in-between matches as solidified marshmallow is the devil to get off of anything after it is cooked a few times.
Fig-Now if Jousting is not to your tastes, then you can always have the bunny races. If you have a nice sunny day all you need is a bunch of chocolate bunnies (use the same size/kind to keep things fair) and a bunch of magnifying glasses. If you haven't quite figured out how this works...You line everyone up for the race, each person gets a bunny and a magnifying glass (you can prolong the race by freezing the bunnies before hand), then it is a race to see who can melt their bunny the fastest with the magnifier, and, *dramatic music* The Power of the Sun!
Frag-Ha! I see what you did there! Now this one can be kinda messy, so make sure that you either use small bunnies, or you have bowls for the melted chocolate. The first one to completely melt their bunny gets a prize!
Fig-I was thinking that maybe we should hand out colored eggs as the prizes.
Frag-That's kinda boring don't ya think? I mean I was thinking along the lines of those little plastic Zombie figures. Maybe some jelly brains!
Fig-Don't you mean jelly beans?
Frag-Nope, brains. It kinda fits with the whole rising from the dead thing that they have going on there.
Fig-I see.
Frag-Well, whatever your plans are to kick off the season of fertility, have fun, stay safe and remember that there is only so much egg salad that one can consume at a time!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Us Vs. Them
I forgot to post this last week, so you get a two-fer today...
So I should really stop watching the news first thing in the morning. All it does is piss me off when I listen to the glaring disparity that is present in our society. For instance, this morning I was watching channel 9 news and they were talking about Robert Blagojevich and his having to report for jail.
Okay, not a biggie. Then they brought up that he would be coming here to Colorado. Alright, I guess. But not because he was sentenced to come to Colorado to serve his time, but because he wanted to serve it here.
I know right!
I want to commit a Federal Crime and then be able to dictate the terms of my prison sentence. "Um, I don't think I want to go to a prison in the state where I committed my crime, so I think I will serve my time in, let's say, Hawaii. Yep on a beach."
Bullshit.
If you or me or anyone else that is not a high profile person gets busted for anything, we have to go where they send us. We don't get to be picky. I am sure that lawyers have figured out a way to move some of the upper middle class around the country for the best possible stay. But if you can't afford one of those super sneaky bastards, then you get stuck where ever they have room.
Even if it is with Bubba.
Do you remember the whole Paris Hilton in jail crap? I mean she didn't even last 3 days before they let her out because she was having anxiety attacks.
It is this kind of crap that perpetuates the whole 'class warfare'. It's not a case of the poor hating the rich because they have money, it is a case of the poor hating the rich because they do get treated differently. They do get more perks with their paycheck, and they apparently get to pick where and how long they get to serve time for breaking the law.
I sure as shit know that if I were to get arrested, then all bets are off and I will not be given those choices. If I have a panic attack in jail, they would just haul my butt to the infirmary, and give me a sedative. Not early release...
So I should really stop watching the news first thing in the morning. All it does is piss me off when I listen to the glaring disparity that is present in our society. For instance, this morning I was watching channel 9 news and they were talking about Robert Blagojevich and his having to report for jail.
Okay, not a biggie. Then they brought up that he would be coming here to Colorado. Alright, I guess. But not because he was sentenced to come to Colorado to serve his time, but because he wanted to serve it here.
I know right!
I want to commit a Federal Crime and then be able to dictate the terms of my prison sentence. "Um, I don't think I want to go to a prison in the state where I committed my crime, so I think I will serve my time in, let's say, Hawaii. Yep on a beach."
Bullshit.
If you or me or anyone else that is not a high profile person gets busted for anything, we have to go where they send us. We don't get to be picky. I am sure that lawyers have figured out a way to move some of the upper middle class around the country for the best possible stay. But if you can't afford one of those super sneaky bastards, then you get stuck where ever they have room.
Even if it is with Bubba.
Do you remember the whole Paris Hilton in jail crap? I mean she didn't even last 3 days before they let her out because she was having anxiety attacks.
It is this kind of crap that perpetuates the whole 'class warfare'. It's not a case of the poor hating the rich because they have money, it is a case of the poor hating the rich because they do get treated differently. They do get more perks with their paycheck, and they apparently get to pick where and how long they get to serve time for breaking the law.
I sure as shit know that if I were to get arrested, then all bets are off and I will not be given those choices. If I have a panic attack in jail, they would just haul my butt to the infirmary, and give me a sedative. Not early release...
Wag the Dog...
For the love of all that is drunk and unholy! It has only been about 24 hours and yet I know everything about someone that I don't give a shit about. I don't care about Manning, or the fact that he is going to be a Bronco. Let me repeat that for the hearing impared, I. Don't. Care.
I would say that I am amazed that every single media outlet is going balls to the wall with the news that a sports team gets a new person, but that would be a lie. It is an election year, a bunch of politicians have pretty much started down the "a woman is not a person" road, thus erasing years of struggle to become equals, and no one seems to give a rats ass. Apparently the only thing that we phlebs can be expected to care about is who can throw a bag inflated with air the best.
This is a prime example of what is going on with our country. We as a people are more than willing to play with our toys, and leave the heavy lifting upto someone else. We like to be distracted. We want to be taken care of. We want to watch the show with all of the special effects instead of the documentary. We want our country to be what we are making it in to. And we wonder why the rest of the world thinks that we are a joke. Sure we have the coolest military toys, but we are uncouth, rough and only steps away from complete barbarism.
Now I don't think that I would go so far as to say that there is some unnamed entity that is monitoring and controlling our media, but when it is all the same noise on every channel, then I start to wonder if maybe there might be something behind the proliferation of mindless stories. I mean, there is not one form of media that I watch that doesn't have something about Manning and the Broncos. Short of ignoring all forms of media, there is no way that I can avoid all of the opinions, facts, and fluff surrounding this, the latest in trying to propel a sports team to a coveted title.
It's not like there's a war on or anything...
I would say that I am amazed that every single media outlet is going balls to the wall with the news that a sports team gets a new person, but that would be a lie. It is an election year, a bunch of politicians have pretty much started down the "a woman is not a person" road, thus erasing years of struggle to become equals, and no one seems to give a rats ass. Apparently the only thing that we phlebs can be expected to care about is who can throw a bag inflated with air the best.
This is a prime example of what is going on with our country. We as a people are more than willing to play with our toys, and leave the heavy lifting upto someone else. We like to be distracted. We want to be taken care of. We want to watch the show with all of the special effects instead of the documentary. We want our country to be what we are making it in to. And we wonder why the rest of the world thinks that we are a joke. Sure we have the coolest military toys, but we are uncouth, rough and only steps away from complete barbarism.
Now I don't think that I would go so far as to say that there is some unnamed entity that is monitoring and controlling our media, but when it is all the same noise on every channel, then I start to wonder if maybe there might be something behind the proliferation of mindless stories. I mean, there is not one form of media that I watch that doesn't have something about Manning and the Broncos. Short of ignoring all forms of media, there is no way that I can avoid all of the opinions, facts, and fluff surrounding this, the latest in trying to propel a sports team to a coveted title.
It's not like there's a war on or anything...
Monday, March 12, 2012
Movie time...Or not
Fig-Hey Frag! Do you know what we get to do tonight??
Frag-Um, no. What do we get to do?
Fig-We get to go on an adventure. We get to traverse some of the most dangerous terrain know to modern man! Then we get to make our way through crowds so thick that you don't have to stand on your own two feet!
Frag-What the hell are you talking about?
Fig-...And then we get to be willingly swindled out of hard earned money, and frustrated to no end!
Frag-I am still trying to figure out where you are going with this...
Fig-We are going to...*scary music*...The Movies!
Frag-Oh no, is it really that time of the year again?
Fig-Yep. When all of the overpriced, over-told, over everything movies hit the big screen.
Frag-The only problem is that everything has already been done. There are no original movies anymore. The popcorn is stale and the prices just keep going up!
Fig-But you are paying for the experience! The stadium seating, the cup-holder arm rests, and the cute little boxes of candy!
Frag-No. What I am paying for is to have my seat kicked by some snot-nosed punk who has no sense of personal space, some idiot who feels that the 'Please turn off your status symbol' message doesn't apply to them, and people who think it's a great idea to bring a 2 year old to the latest showing of a scary movie.
Fig-But, but, I thought you loved the movies?
Frag-I do love movies. But I really don't like going to the theater to see them anymore. I don't like having to take my own life in my hands trying to find a parking space, I don't like the fact that people don't exercise any type of sense when it comes to bringing their kids. I like going to later movies because then I could at least be somewhat assured that it would be free of kids that were under 15.
Fig-So what are you saying? Are you saying that you are going to give up on going to the movies?
Frag-I think I might. I am just fed up with the atmosphere in the theaters anymore. Hollywood has gotten lazy, and I am tired of paying for the same Micheal Bay movie over and over again.
Fig-I miss the cartoons.
Frag-That's another thing! Who here remembers when they showed cartoons before the movie? Now all they show are ads and previews. If I wanted to watch commercials I would keep my ass at home! For me the act of going to the movies has become so unpleasant that I don't mind waiting for a show to end up on DVD.
Fig-But what about the popcorn?
Frag-Ya know, they make these wonderful things called...Popcorn poppers! And yes, you can even buy crappy butter-like oily stuff at the grocery store. What's your excuse now?
Fig-I, uh, I think mayb...maybe the next time will be better?
Frag-I doubt it...
Frag-Um, no. What do we get to do?
Fig-We get to go on an adventure. We get to traverse some of the most dangerous terrain know to modern man! Then we get to make our way through crowds so thick that you don't have to stand on your own two feet!
Frag-What the hell are you talking about?
Fig-...And then we get to be willingly swindled out of hard earned money, and frustrated to no end!
Frag-I am still trying to figure out where you are going with this...
Fig-We are going to...*scary music*...The Movies!
Frag-Oh no, is it really that time of the year again?
Fig-Yep. When all of the overpriced, over-told, over everything movies hit the big screen.
Frag-The only problem is that everything has already been done. There are no original movies anymore. The popcorn is stale and the prices just keep going up!
Fig-But you are paying for the experience! The stadium seating, the cup-holder arm rests, and the cute little boxes of candy!
Frag-No. What I am paying for is to have my seat kicked by some snot-nosed punk who has no sense of personal space, some idiot who feels that the 'Please turn off your status symbol' message doesn't apply to them, and people who think it's a great idea to bring a 2 year old to the latest showing of a scary movie.
Fig-But, but, I thought you loved the movies?
Frag-I do love movies. But I really don't like going to the theater to see them anymore. I don't like having to take my own life in my hands trying to find a parking space, I don't like the fact that people don't exercise any type of sense when it comes to bringing their kids. I like going to later movies because then I could at least be somewhat assured that it would be free of kids that were under 15.
Fig-So what are you saying? Are you saying that you are going to give up on going to the movies?
Frag-I think I might. I am just fed up with the atmosphere in the theaters anymore. Hollywood has gotten lazy, and I am tired of paying for the same Micheal Bay movie over and over again.
Fig-I miss the cartoons.
Frag-That's another thing! Who here remembers when they showed cartoons before the movie? Now all they show are ads and previews. If I wanted to watch commercials I would keep my ass at home! For me the act of going to the movies has become so unpleasant that I don't mind waiting for a show to end up on DVD.
Fig-But what about the popcorn?
Frag-Ya know, they make these wonderful things called...Popcorn poppers! And yes, you can even buy crappy butter-like oily stuff at the grocery store. What's your excuse now?
Fig-I, uh, I think mayb...maybe the next time will be better?
Frag-I doubt it...
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