Passive Aggressive BullSh*t

Ya know what? I really don't understand some people. I don't get the way their mind works. I don't get how they can function in social situations. I really don't. And I would really, really like to know what makes some of these people tick. Now I can understand how backgrounds and growing up in certain environments can shape a person, but I believe that is only a small part of what makes us assholes tick. I ultimately believe that we are who we choose to be. But I also think there are some people that just don't fire on all cylinders. They are just a bit off, just left of center, just odd enough that everyone can notice it.

These people are the ones who tend to be passive-aggressive, and who refuse to deal with a problem at the source. They truly believe that they are not at fault at all for any animosity or bad feelings. They can't see past their noses, and are totally oblivious to the way their attitudes affect those around them. These tend to be the same people that blame their actions on their astrological signs. Now you know the type of people that I am talking about. These are the ones that I have the hardest time trying to figure out. And believe me it's not for lack of trying. I have talked with them, I have had coffee with them, hell I have even driven halfway across the country with one of them.

People are full of shit. We all are. But it is up to us to keep that shit in check for the most part. To keep it from splattering on those around us. The majority of people that I know manage to do a damn good job keeping themselves in check and not turning into a giant douche nozzle when things don't go their way. It's one of the things that sucks about being grown. Our parents, for the most part, are not around to wipe our noses and clean up after us. Yet many people who claim the title of adult, can't manage their own stuff. So they resort to being passive-aggressive and laying their problems on the shoulders of others who really don't give a rats ass.


Okay, I think I am done.

The First Snow..

Makes me all warm and fuzzy. That is until I have to go outside. Shit, I hate having a big ass truck and having the mile long scraper brush that is buried under all of the convention stuff. By the time I manage to get the scraper pulled halfway out, it has made its intentions perfectly clear...It's not moving anymore. So I fight the good fight and get it pushed back in most of the way, at least the back door will still close so the small amount of heat that is generated by the engine is not immediately sucked away.

But enough about my morning. The first snow always seems to motivate me in a way that not much else can. I think to myself, 'How nice would it me to sit at home on the couch and crochet a big ass blanket.?' Then I decide it sounds like a fabulous idea, and make my way to the yarn barn, or where ever else sells those fantastic spools of unfinished projects, and manage to find the most fluffy, comfortable, expensive, colorful, pain in the ass yarn to work with. It just happens that I have the kind of taste that you need vodka to wash out of your mouth when it comes to picking out easy to work with yarns.

Then, of course my fancy turns to Yule presents...Ah, crap. I have no idea what I am going to do this year! Full on panic mode sets in. I start spending more time in craft stores then I do at home. My husband has to confiscate the credit cards, and eventually he will send out a search party...I will settle on a small project where I can make the most presents with the least amount of capitol. Because for me, gifting someone is all about the thought that you put into the gift for that person. I would much rather have something small and handmade over something huge and store bought. One of my favorite gifts ever, is a set of crocheted tree ornaments made by my dear friend Renee. I love those damn things.

So over the last few years, as soon as the snow starts to fall, I have directed my thoughts towards the whimsicle fuckery that will be my presents for my friends and family for that year. Last year it was hand painted ornaments. I think the year before that was homemade canned stuff, and I can't remember what I did before that. I think I went a bit crazy and made a metric ass load of blankets. Now my problem seems to be, 'How in this fresh hell do I top last years gifts?' I may just see what I have laying around my house and threaten whatever I can find with my glue gun.

So as the snow flies, and I loose my mind, I would like take a moment and breathe one last sane breath before I decide that it really is a good idea to give bedazzled willy warmers to everyone for the holidays....

Fig and Frags' Guide to Retail Holidaze....

Frag- Today we are going to be talking about Holidays. And I don't mean the holidays that everyone else celebrates, but rather the ones that retail workers celebrate. So we will start at the beginning of the year and try to make some sense out of the hell that is retail holidays...

Fig-My favorite has to be "Turkey Recovery Day"! This is more commonly known as "Black Friday" for those not playing the home game.

Frag-So we start with "Legalized Prostitution Day" (aka...Valentines Day). I am not even close to being recovered from my Cranberry coma when they start stocking shelves with heart shaped boxes of goo and cheesy cards.

Fig-Oh ohohoh... I like the one that comes after that one..."Musical Nationalities"! And I love the color green!

Frag-Yeah, but the green doesn't always love you back! So After the national drunk fest that is St. Pattys, then we enter the era of patriotic holidays, you get covered in so much red, white and blue that you think those are the only colors that exist anymore. Add in the Memorial Day grilling sales, and if you are really lucky you get to add a strong dose of Cinco De Mayo into the mix.

Fig-Yeah, but the holiday everyone loves to hate is up next...Back to School! Parents love it because the kids are out of the house again, and kids hate it because they have to go back to school. Binders and pencils as far as the eye can see!

Frag-Moving out of the "Mandatory holiday" we move right into "Yet another reason my daughter can dress like a hooker day". Perusing all of the costumes and accessories this year, I was not able to find one that I would feel comfortable letting my daughter wear out of the house. Damn good thing I have a son!

Fig-But some of you...you know who you are... yes craft stores, I am looking at you...Just bypass the last one all together and move on to "Hannakwanzayulemass", or the more politically correct "winter celebration". But as you know if you have read any of this before, we are not politically correct here.

Frag-The winter season is the biggest shopping season, so it is easy to see why retailers put forth so much effort to get you to buy stuff that the rest of the year you are perfectly fine without. This is the season of binge and purge spending. Buy all of the shit that you think someone may like and if you are lucky, you won't get stuck Wit ugly dinner plates and a sweater you are allergic to.

Fig-*singing* It's the circle of life! And it moves in all things*

Frag-And finally sandwiched in between all of these massive retail undertakings, we have the little known "bring your crap back" day. These are where everyone gets to celebrate by standing in line and meeting more people who's friends and relatives don't actually listen to them.

Fig- We hope you have enjoyed our time together today, and we hope to see you back again soon!

So, How much do you think your soul is worth?

So there have been some major changes in my office over the last 3 weeks, and I am seriously struggling to decide how much my soul is worth, and by that I mean how much shit am I willing to put up with for my current paycheck. Now don't get me wrong, for the most part I like my day job, and I like the steady check, but where does one draw the line? How much are skills worth now? When I look at the Jobs on Craigslist, I see people who want a freakin' Bachelors degree for a $10 per hour desk job. And while I do realize that this is an employers market, I think the expectations are getting just a bit ridiculous. Soon they'll be asking for a Masters to flip a fuckin' burger.

So I have to decide if coming home and being in a shitty mood for the rest rest of the day is worth that steady check at a job that I used to love the hell out of. I still love my job for the most part, and it is not the day to day activities, but rather the people who pile on more work, and turn every little thing into a major emergency. When they want something done, they want it done now. It doesn't matter if you are in the middle of a call with a customer, or if you have a 3 foot tall stack of paperwork that you are trying to get done so you don't end up being behind. Hell, I can even understand when they need to have a report run, that just takes a few seconds. But what hits me in the head is when they talk to your customers and don't tell you all of the information you need to get your job done. Then ultimately you wind up looking like a total douche canoe.

I keep hoping that the atmosphere will settle, and while I realize that not even I am immune to change, I think I would like those who are trying to make the changes to think first before giving unrealistic demands. Hell, maybe this is just a short term thing, and I am getting worked up over nothing. I just want to go to work and do my job. I don't want to do your job, or your secretaries, or your GPS', or even your concierge. If I am going to wear all of these hats, then I think that my 'soul' is worth quite a bit more than you currently do.

Good movies to curl up to...

I love Halloween. And I mean I love halloween like a fat kid in a candy store. It has to be my favorite freakin time of the year. Not only do you get to pretend to be something else, but you can come up with the most twisted costumes and no one says you're a freak or a weirdo. I think I love it so much because it gives us time to escape ourselves, if only for a few hours. And so without further ado I bring you the LIST...This is the list of my favorite scary movies that I am going to watch throughout the entire month of October, not in any particular order...

1. Freaks-This is a killer old black and white flick about circus folk, deception, revulsion, and the coolest part has got to be the human torso (read no arms or legs), lighting a cigarette...no special effects to speak of, it was made in the 1930's. A must see for anyone!

2.Jaws-Killer freaking shark, small town, need I say more? This is a movie that I watch all year round!

3. Alien-The original, creeptastic, latex body suit, KY gel horrorfest. This scared the crap out of me when I was much younger, but now it's like an old friend who you don't get to see all of the time.

4. War of the Worlds-Now this one has to be seen in the original, not of that Tom-what's his nuts. Magnetic watches, Sci-Fi alien ships, creepy sound effects. The only thing better is listening to the original radio broadcast.

5. The Exorcist-The Classic good vs. evil. The extended version is way better than the original. When the girl crab-walks down the stairs I almost spit soda out of my nose.

6. The Haunting-I guess I love the oldies, I perfer this version of the original to the re-make with Liam Neeson and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Some good old shocking moments cannot be made up for by special effects.

7. Night of the Living dead-Has to be one of the best old-school zombie movies ever!!! I believe that this one shaped the vast majority of films we have today, and it was one of Romero's first.

8. Pet Semetary-One of Stephen King's finer books, I still get twitchy when the little kid goes darkside...nothing creepier than little kids...

9. Silence of the lambs-uber fuckered up canabalistic shrink...need I say more?

10. The Lake-This is one of the films that I believe are starting to come out of England...This one a group of kids terrorize a couple...and it goes down hill from there. I like this one because to me, the ones that have a high probability of happening are scary as shit.

11. The Others-Mom and kids are in an old English house, and everytime they try to leave, all they see is fog. Now, it's not so much the premise of the movie as it is the acoustics of my house. At one point in the movie, it sounds like someone running across a wood floor, well, my house has wood floors and I shit you not, it sounded like it was in my living room.

12. Children of the Corn-Corn, kids, farm implements, and Linda Hamilton...3 resons I don't particularly care for Nebraska.

13. The Serpent and the Rainbow-Explore the world of Voodoo Zombies in the search for a new medical use for zombie dust...Some truly disturbing images. But being buried alive takes the cake.

14. C.H.U.D.-A group of chemically altered mutants living under the streets of New York, feeding on the homeless...A dirty corporation disposing radioactive waste in tunnles under said city...

15. Dark Water-The Japanese Version is 10 times better than the American Re-make. I mean we come up with some great horror films, but the japanese have the creep factor nailed! I think it has to do with their particular view of ghosts and whatnot.

I will probably do another list of scary and not so scary movies in a bit. If you have a movie that you think I would like, let me know and I will write a review! Or at least as much of one as I can write drunk off my ass!

Loyalty, and the lack thereof...

[loi-uhl-tee]

–noun, plural -ties.

1. the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.

2. faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc.

3. an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: a man with fierce loyalties.

 

So I had an eye opening experience here recently. As many of you know, I was stuck in the hell that is Jury Duty. Now in my former job, this wouldn't have posed much of an issue. However I have come to learn that most companies only want to do the bare minimum as required by law. So as a result of giving a whole freakin' week to do my civic duty and sit on a boring ass trial, I get screwed all the way around. And for reasons that I am not able to expound on currently, the timing of this whole thing sucks. I had no vacation time left at work, see above reasons, and so my employer decided to only pay what was required by law, which amounts to $50 per day.

 

So, as I said before, I got screwed. I ended up loosing about $400 all said and done. Now given the state of the economy, that will fuck anyone up. And I am still waiting for my check from the state for the 2 days of service that they owe me. All of the paperwork said it could take 6 weeks for me to get my compensation. Now I have to get creative and sell some shit to make the bills. And I don't have a ton of bills, but I do like to eat too. I do my best to save for shit storms, but sometimes it happens to the best of us. I don't have car or bike payments outside of insurance and gas, we don't have cable, we live within our means, but all it takes is one hiccup to screw up your month.

 

So when I talk about loyalty, it goes both ways. A person should be loyal to the company that hired them, and in turn the company should be loyal to that employee. Given what my company has done, I can see why people only stay in jobs for 2-3 years at a time. By just doing the bare minimum, and saving a few bucks, I now am going to be working as much overtime as I can get my hands on in order to make up for what I lost. Now I wouldn't even consider doing that if the company had just paid my regular wage, now it is going to cost them way more in taxes. I am not doing this out of spite, or to be vengeful, but because I need to in order to survive. Hell I have 3 jobs and this is the only one that pays regularly. I started at Etsy store in the hopes of making a little on the side, but so far it has been 3 months and not one freaking sale.

 

I don't like it when companies and people spout things about honesty and loyalty yet fall through when the metal hits the meat. It pisses me off and then I start to question if this is the right job for me.  I know this one is kinda bitchy, but I am sure that I am not the only one in the free world to have had their carefully laid plans scrapped by the system..

 

 

Meh, maybe it's just a Monday.

 

 

 

 

 

Halloween in Schools...

 I wrote this when schools still allowed kids to have costumes and they didn't get the day off because the administration was worried that people would feel left out or offended. Now none of DPS students go to school on Halloween. They don't even acknowledge that it is a festival for people of different faiths. They have just erased it from their little bubble.

Frag-I have decided to bring you a rant about Halloween in schools...and how some people would like to get rid of it totally.

Fig-But I like Halloween! It gives me a chance to scare little kids out of their candy!

Frag-I am sure that you could be considered part of the problem for that one! Now in school we have 'diet halloween'. No masks, no weapons, no fake blood, no 'scary' costumes. I mean really, imagine the Grim Reaper with out his Scythe! What next, does he get to carry a bunch of flowers instead? How cool is a zombie without being at least a little bit scary?

Fig-*puts down the chainsaw* So let me get this right, you can be a princess, a ghost, a pumpkin, and any other run of the mill type thing that people encounter every day, but you can't try to come up with the creepiest costume you can imagine, because you can't wear it to school?

Frag-Yep that pretty much covers it. Not to mention the fact that people are saying that you need to get rid of Halloween parties at school because it takes up valuable teaching time.

Fig-Don't people remember when they were in school? Halloween parties were cool and you know that they had fun when they got to show off their costumes. I think that they are trying to take the fun out of school. Let's see how boring we can make it for kids.

Frag-You have a point there. If Halloween parties are taken out of school that leaves kids with Valentines day, and Christmas holiday parties. That's it. Talk about sending the wrong message. Just look at valentines day-sponsoring romance in elementary schools. *tisktisk*

Fig-*grabs pint of fake blood* Well, since we are no longer in school, we can still scare the snot out of the little kids begging for candy!

Frag-Sounds good to me! Hey pass the blood!

Occupy This!

I noticed when the people took over Wall Street. I glanced as they stayed for days. I was amused when they decided to take over Denver. I watched as they erected tents and a food stand. I listened to what I could hear about the protest. I smiled at the fact that these people, whatever they stand for, are exercising their rights as American Citizens. I wished at times that I could join them. I hoped that a message would be heard by our government. I thought maybe that they would finally listen to the rest of us who have had enough. I thought maybe they would take a look at the banks that received bail-out money, then took peoples houses when they had been given bad loans. I hoped that they would understand that capitalism is self correcting, those that can't make it, won't.

I listened when our Governor, who grew tired of having a tent city on his front yard, tried to enact a curfew. I noticed when the people didn't move. I applauded the fact that they were able to make their voices heard, while I had to put in overtime at work to make the bills. I wondered how long this would go on, and how many people in the end would take to the streets. I admired their stamina. I hoped that maybe there were enough people in this town that would care enough to join and make their voices heard as well. I had imagined that more people my age had finally been fed up, and pissed off. I watched as their numbers swelled to over 1,000. I waited for more.

I watched this morning as the State Patrol, and the Denver PD moved in to break up the tent city. I listened as the newscasters just wanted this to be over so people weren't late for work. I heard a few shouts as the state patrol, in full riot gear pushed people out of their camp. I hoped that it was just temporary. I watched as they moved the people across the street. My heart sank when I heard that the Governor has closed the park indefinitely by executive order. I thought about all the ways that rights were infringed. I whimpered as the tent city was torn down and thrown in city dump trucks. As I listened to the radio today, I cried. I cried because I watched as our elected officials removed themselves as the voice of the people.

I raged because I realized that the people who put themselves out there to be a part of the protest, are looked down on, and mocked. They are belittled and patted on the head like a kid who did something stupid. And I raged because I have noticed that far too many people have given in. They have given their minds over to the politically correct, they are on the way to loosing what is left of the only thing you truly own.

And I think I will just leave this here...

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

You keep using those words...

I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

Over the last few months I have heard countless people talk of family and brother or sisterhood. And not in the cloistered sense. It seems that everywhere I turn people are looking to build surrogate families. That is not what bothers me. What stomps on my nerves in gigantic fucking combat boots is how I have seen people who use those terms, and at the slightest hint of fuck-upery drop their 'brother' or 'sister' like a hot skillet. If these people were truly like a 'family', then you would realize that you are in it for the long haul. You can't decide your blood relative is no longer related when they act like an ass, so why is it okay to treat the people you decide to make your family that way?

For me it is a great and freaking fantastic honor to have someone that I am not related to claim me as family, and then come through for me when the fit hits the shan. I can count on one hand the number of people that I think would be there to bail my ass out of jail in the middle of the night. And I would do the same for them. It also saddens me when people whom I considered 'family' choose to quit talking to me. It hurts worse than a severe injury. It lasts longer, and it cuts deeper.

If our words truly have meaning and value, then why do so many insist on passing them out like condoms at public schools? When we decide to give our words power, when we decide that we want them to carry weight, then we have to have the testicular fortitude to back up our ideals. When you choose to disregard the weight of your words, then you truly are lost.

Civic duties...

Okay, so if you read the last post, you will remember that I was tapped for jury duty. Now I am not a huge fan of lawyers, or court proceedings in general. I do appreciate that they have a usefulness. But I also believe that if a small amount of personal responsibility had been taken, then I wouldn't have had to miss a whole week of work. Since the case is over I can share a bit. It was a civil case involving a drunk driver. Someone decided to drink and drive a car. They rear-ended the other party in the case. The guy who was rear-ended was a cab driver just trying to make a living. He ended up with brain damage that affected what could have been a promising music career.

The defense had a shitty case. When one chooses a course of action, one must think ahead to most possible outcomes. Now I am not suggesting that you consider every single effect that your action will have, but think "hey, if I have this junk food, I may gain weight." Or how about "if I don't pay attention, I may hit something when I am in my car". Not totally unreasonable expectations, just the ones that I think most thinking people take into account.

Now the people in the case were my contemporaries, Gen X. I have made the observation over the last few years, that my generation is the "It's not my fault" generation. My parents were 'Baby Boomers', my parents had Korea and Vietnam. My Grand Parents were the 'Greatest Generation'. They fought and died in World War 2. My generation...we ain't got shit. We have 2 'conflicts' in a giant sandbox. I thank our troops every day for my freedoms, and all I ask is that people use a little forethought before they act on something.

While our justice system is at times flawed, it is a right we have. We have those rights because those who came before us fought for those rights. They wanted to leave our country better than it was when they were here. They took responsibility for not only themselves, but for all of us and our futures. So I think that we as a generation need to pull our heads out of our asses and do our prior generations proud by deciding to stand on our own two feet and realize that somethings are our fault. 

In realizing that we share part of the blame for things, we can begin to correct those things that we have effected with our mindsets. We can start to fix the economy, we can start to put our country back in order. Had the defendant in the trial I was on, come on out and said 'I was drunk, I hit the cab, all we need your help in deciding what a fair amount of compensation is', I think the outcome would have been different. As he decided that everything else was at fault, and he didn't give the impression that he thought he was at fault at all, he is now out $1.7 million.

That's a fucking expensive lesson.

Jury Duty...

So I had the fantastical fucked up luck to actually be picked to sit on a Jury this time. I had managed to dodge that shit for the last 15 years. Most of the time I would just sit and take a book and wait until noon and then get to go home. Not this time. And I can't talk about the case, so don't even ask. But I do want to talk about how brain numbing legalese is. It sucks. I now know the reason the attorneys trot out expert witnesses with resumes longer than your leg. They are trying to bore you to death. I get the feeling that their goal is to overload the poor saps whose numbers are finally up. I think that they figure the average person will just shut down and go with the path of information that they understand. This is what they hope.

I am on day 3 of what could be a 5 day trial, and by the end of each day I find that I am so disconnected and exhausted that it makes it hard to keep my mouth shut. My internal filters just shut off. My inner bitch comes out to play. Most of the time, it is relegated to the car or the bike. Sometimes it bleeds over into the rest of my life. I find my tolerance for people less than normal. I get angry when people in the express lane have more than 20 items. It bugs me that we have become a nation all about 'me'. We have given up on getting to know our neighbors, hell, mine stare at me like I have a third eye when I pull into my drive way.

And I have to say that being on a jury has just reinforced the idea that people suck. I like most people, but some are working my last nerve. I don't know what it is about the fall, or the weather, but it seems that drama and politics seem to peak this time of year. Maybe it's people doing house keeping before winter sets in. I don't know and right now I am not impaired enough to figure this out. All I know is that I long for the days when people take care in their actions and think that maybe just for a moment that it has an effect on other people. But I ramble on. I think that it is a combination of jury duty and booze...