The Truth about pencils...

Frag-"Man I had a bad day. Shoelace broke, I spilled my coffee, got in a traffic accident, and still had to get all those reports done for work."

Fig-"Okay...But what does that have to do with pencils? I thought we were supposed to talk about pencils!"

Frag-"We are talking about pencils today *rummages through a drawer full of pencils* Ha! I found it!"

Fig-"Hey, can I have a pencil? I want a bright green one!!!"

Frag-"Nope I will not give you any of my pencils. They are mine, All mine."

Fig-"But, but, but..."

Frag-"Can I borrow your chipper wood shredder?"

Fig-"Yeah sure. Wait a minute WHAT? Why do you want to borrow my chipper?"

Frag-"I need to take care of my pencil *grunts* Hey can you show me how to get this thing started?"

Fig-"I don't understand why you want to shred the pencil..."

Frag-*holds up pencil with 'bad day' written on it* "This pencil is my bad day. If I were to give you my pencil, my 'bad day' would become your bad day. And I want to get rid of my bad day." *throws it into the shredder and stares as fine wood chips come out of the other end*

Fig-*rifles through Frags pencil drawer* "Hey this one says 'Drama', it's not fair, why do you get so many pencils?"

Frag-"Everyone has their own pencils. This drawer just happens to represent my pencils. Mainly the ones that I still have to deal with. When I am ready to deal with my pencils and get rid of them, I will get rid of them. I would be willing to bet that you have your own drawer full of pencils, you just need to find it."

Fig-*Runs off in search of pencil drawer*

Frag-*Sits back and reads a book*

Organized Religon...

Fig-"Organized What!!"

Frag-"Organized Religion, just like the title says."

Fig-"So why are we talking about organized religion today?"

Frag-"Because it bothers me that some people just don't ask enough questions. Church can be seen as one persons interpretation of a book. And to just take that persons word as *excuse the phrase* 'gospel' is just stupid."

Fig-"So what your saying is that people just get together once a week to listen to someone discuss the same book over and over again?"

Frag-"Yep. Like a book club caught in a time loop. But the point of this is more that people need to start asking questions again."

Fig-"With a hat like that I would be questioning my fashion advisor."

Frag-*snorts coffee* "Now don't get me wrong, it's great that people have things to believe in. People need things to believe in, but just because one person says something, does not mean that it is the final word on the subject. Every one's interpretation is can be as different as night and day, but without asking the question, one can never know how far or how different views can be."

Fig-"Okay I have a question! What is the meaning of life?"

Frag-"I am not going to answer that right now. I would like you to think about it and see what it means to be you. I can give you an answer, but I am not going to because I can tell you what it means to be you through my experience, but I can't tell you what it feels like to be you. And you should not take my answer as the definitive answer for you. So the lesson today is...Ask more questions!"

The Online Dating Game...

Frag-"What are you doing? You have been sitting in front of that computer for 48 hours!"
 
Fig-"I'm trying this whole on-line dating thing. Who knows, maybe I'll find that special someone!" *swoons and almost falls out of the chair* "oops"
 
Frag-"So did ya find any good ones?"
 
Fig-"I don't know yet. I have only been looking for the past 2 days. I found several that kinda look like serial killers, and a few people who are at least 20 years older than me. Kinda creepy."
 
Frag-"So how does this whole thing work? Do you e-mail them and wait for an answer? Or do you just sit there and wait for them to e-mail you?"
 
Fig-"Well, it's all complicated depending on which site your on. On this site over here, you can send them e-mail and then you wait to see if they respond. On this one, you have several steps to follow then you get to the e-mail. And on this one, you can IM the person right away and hope to god they decide to answer you."
 
Frag-"So do you have to post a picture? Or can you just describe yourself and hope they find you appealing?"
 
Fig-"A picture helps, I put one of my favorites up. You also get to tell them about yourself, but so far all of the ones I have looked at sound exactly the same. Blah, blah hiking, Blah blah, outdoors, blah, blah done with the bar scene, ya know. I would like to see an original profile for once."
 
Frag-"Which picture did you post?"
 
Fig-"I put up the one of me dressed as a member of kiss."
 
Frag-*stifles a laugh* "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean you don't want them thinking that Gene Simmons is looking for love on-line.*Snicker* You may want to change that to something more realistic. And I don't mean the one of you in your underwear covered in orange cheese powder."
 
Fig-"Yeah maybe your right. How 'bout the one of me with my hamster?"
 
Frag-"Bad Idea. I don't think that anyone wants to see you with little fluffy in your mouth."
 
Fig-"Okay, here. Take the camera and just take one of me not doing something that will embarrass me later."
 
Frag-*snaps pic*"That should work. So have you heard back from anyone?"
 
Fig-"I have heard back from a couple of people on site 2 and met one from site 3, but site one seems to be a wash. I always thought that you should answer emails when you get them. But no luck there. I have read almost every article I can find on writing the perfect first e-mail, but it hasn't helped."
 
Frag-"Maybe that's your problem, you're over thinking things a bit. I would say just be yourself, but you may want to tone it down a bit so people don't think you're a mental patient. I wish you luck in your endeavor, it seems like a good way to meet people. Just don't expect too much."
 
Fig-"Yeah, I think I will stay away from the Manson look-alikes and the older ones trolling for the spring chickens. So we shall see where it goes from there."
 
Frag-"I wish you luck in your search." *snickers*

The Downside of PETA...

Fig-*singing to the tune of YMCA by the Village People*..."I wanna protest with PETA, gonna protest with PETAA!

Frag-What the fuck are you singing? Scratch that, why are you singing? And about PETA?

Fig-PETA is not just a type of flat bread anymore my friend. Now they protest for animal rights for the poor little creature that can't speak for themselves.

Frag-Give me a break. IMO they are a bunch of vegetarians with too much money and too much time on their hands. They seem to forget that if it wasn't for People Eating Tasty Animals then using their skins for warmth and shelter that the human race might not be here at all today.

Fig-Yeah but, um they had that chick chained up half nekkid on 16th st mall to protest the circus. She was kinda cute.

Frag-If the only reason you want to be involved with a group like that is to meet cute chicks, then you have way too much free time on your hands. PETA has an okay message when it comes to the senseless killing of small animals for overpriced fur coats, but they tend to go off the deep end on so many other things that it tends to overshadow the decent messages that they try to send. I don't agree with the leather thing, especially when the leather comes from slaughter houses that would just throw it out anyway instead of selling it for use in shoes and coats. Both important bits of clothing that tend to protect people from the elements.

Fig-But think of the poor little bunnies!

Frag-What poor little bunnies?

Fig-And the gold fish that spend their whole lives in a little bowl!

Frag-And what did you have for dinner last night?

Fig-I had a huge steak with a side of lamb.

Frag- That right there would get you disqualified from PETA.

Fig-You mean to join I have to give up meat?

Frag-Yep and your steel toed boots that have leather in them and your leather jacket, and your meat for dinner.

Fig-But Why?

Frag-Well PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in short- protection for all animals on the planet. In order to spread that message and for it to be effective, they have to have members that practice what they preach. So you can only wear natural fibers like cotton and hemp, you can't have milk, or cheese because they come from animals and there is a possibility that the cow that was milked got a blister during the milking, you can't eat eggs, because they are just little chickens(never mind the fact that they are unfertilized eggs that won't turn into anything). Now does this sound like the type of lifestyle change that you are ready for?

Fig-When you put it that way, I would rather have my steak for dinner and my eggs for breakfast.

Frag-If you want to join an organization, take your time and do your research. There are many out there that have very worthy causes, without going off the deep end. If you want to make an imprint on someone, you can volunteer and tons of places, Hospitals, Schools, shelters, Etc. But don't just join an organization because there are cute girls in it. Granted that every organization has people that carry the message in the wrong way, and most have very solid grounds for their protests, But for groups like PETA, and the few stand out-ish members they have, that get the news attention, there good message has been skewed.

Fig-Or could it have been skewered?

Frag-There is nothing wrong with wanting people to treat animals ethically, or with compassion, and love, but when you make the news more for extremist tactics, then you tend to attract the type of people who are extremists. If you want to help cute and fluffy animals, volunteer at a shelter, take the dogs for a walk, clean up the pens, and enjoy the fact that for however short a time you get to spend with the animals, they enjoy your company as well.

The Escape of the Dramalla...

Frag-"Oh Shit."

Fig-"Oh Shit, WHAT?"

Frag-"The Dramalla has gotten out again. We really need to find a better way to keep it in the jar."

Fig-"Yeah, ever since it figured out how the lids work, the escapes have become more frequent."

Frag-"Okay, Grab the jar and your weapon of choice. I'll get the tongs and the oven mitts."

Fig-*Grabs a tennis racket* "I am armed and ready to go."

Frag-"Shut all of the doors and the windows, we don't want this one getting outside and messing with anyone else!"

Fig-"Why? I don't think it's such a bad idea. Then we wouldn't have to deal with it anymore."

Frag-"Don't you see? If we let our Dramalla out, it will just go and breed with other peoples' dramallas, and there will be an assload of little Dramallas running around."

Fig-*peeks under the coffee table* "Well, it's not under here, grab the flashlight, maybe it's under the chair."

Frag-*shines light under chair* "Nope, all that's under here is a bunch of dust. Maybe it's in the closet with the good intentions" *runs off to look in the closet*

Fig-"Hey I think it wandered into the bedroom to hang out with the personal relationships!"

Frag-"Damn! Now it's gonna be a week before I can sleep again." *pokes head into bedroom* "Hey! I can see its' tail! It's under the bed! What the hell is the murmuring coming from the closet?"

Fig-"Uh oh. The Dramalla has gone and twisted the fuck out of the good intentions. Now it's gonna take weeks to get this all sorted out!"

Frag-*Dives under the bed* "Hey don't just stand there, help me! I've got a hold of it, but it's all tangled up in the hearsay!"

Fig-*grabs Frag by the ankles* "Damn! It's worse when it messes with the pile of hearsay that you keep under there."

Frag-"panting" "I've got the little snot!" *holds up Dramalla by the nape of the neck* "It's always amazed me that something so small and insignificant can cause so many problems."

Fig-"Here drop it in the jar before it gets away again." *holds out jar

Frag-*shoves Dramalla into the jar* "let's leave it in here while we work on fixing the good intentions. I'll check out the personal relationships, but you get to deal with the hearsay."

Fig-"What! I don't wanna deal with the hearsay! That's all you!"

Frag-"Well, I don't wanna do it! I always have to do it!"

Fig-"Well, that's cause your sooo good at sorting things out! Your much better than I am."

Frag-*grumbles* "Fine. I'll take the hearsay if you can manage the personal relationships and I think we can get Ego to sort out the good intentions."

Fig-"Sounds great. Now all we have to do is figure out what to do with the Dramalla. I guess it's out of the question to just throw it out of the window and hope it gets lost?"

Frag-"Yep. Totally out of the question. This is our Dramalla and it is up to us to keep it locked up so that it doesn't cause problems in our day to day lives."

Fig-"I guess I should start leaving it at home when I go out then."

Frag-*blinkblink* "Yeah, um that would be a great idea. Now if everyone else would leave their Dramalla at home too."

Fig-"Ya know, I think we're onto something here"