The Fall of Bride-Zilla

When we last left our stalwart adventurers, Frag was trying to pry a silver plated cake server out of Figs clenched hands....We now return to our regularly shceduled fuckery....

Frag-*grunts* Gimme those damned jordan almonds!!!

Fig-No! I have had these dyed to match the colors of the wedding!!!

Frag-For the last freaking time...YOU ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED!!!

Fig-But I could one day!

Frag-*grabs bottle of champagne* I am done with your nonsense...*shakes up bottle...pops cork*

Fig-*gurgle, gurgle, gurgle* Okay, okay I give!!! Just don't get any on the dresses! I still have to return them!!

Frag-*exasperated sigh* Are we done now? Have you gotten over your crazy idea that one day defines the rest of your life??

Fig*covered in champagne and sobbing* I think I may have been a bit, um, excited. But it is a big decision!

Frag-No, the big decision is when someone asks you to marry them in the first place. Weddings are just parties. Now help me get rid of all this stuff.

Fig-Do we have to? I mean can't I just keep a book or 2?

Frag-No. It all goes. Every scrap of silk flower, every crumb of cake, every sample of overpriced paper. Everything. *leaves to grab trash can*

Fig- *looks longingly at the color swatches* I can't believe that I thought royal blue and bright yellow were ever a good pair...

Frag-Ah, finally sanity has returned. Help me get rid of these invitation samples. Man they are heavy!

Fig-Yeah, you should see the other box...

Frag-Um, what other box?

Fig-The one in the closet.

Frag-Oh, shit. Where else did you hide wedding stuff?

Fig-I think I left some under the bed, and maybe behind the couch...*voice trails off*

Frag-I didn't quite catch that last part, where else?

Fig-I said, maybe the shed.

Frag-Okay get your crazy ass over here and start fishing favors out of the couch. I will get the wheel barrow and we'll get all of this stuff out of here.

Fig-Oh, alright. I mean I guess that I can always get my deposit back on the hall and the horses.

Frag-Hand me that box of magazi...Horses? WTF? *facepalm* Why horses?

Fig-To um, pull the carriage of course.

Frag-Oh! Of course the carriage! How could I forget the carriage...or the fact that you're freaking allergic to HORSES!!!

Fig-But that's what they made Benedryl for! Besides, it was only going to be for an hour at the most...

Frag-*headdesk*


We now return you to your regularly scheduled fuckery, and we hope you will join us for our next installment...The Escape of the Dramalla!